Saturday, July 7, 2007

Tastes like chicken??

For the random roamer of our World Wide Web, who is peeved that this blog is in fact a blog and not a list of recipes for dishes that taste like chicken, but are in fact NOT chicken...

Perhaps you are allergic to chicken, but miss its sweet sweet tasty juices?? Perhaps you are bird-flu-phobic, but are ashamed to admit this and fear being called paranoid by your guests / parents-in-law / significant other who is coming to dinner and desires chicken? Perhaps you are a parent, whose painful child refuses to eat anything that does not taste like our feathered friends...? Are you a member of the 'TLCCC' (the 'Tastes Like Chicken Cannibal Club')?

My advice to you:
- to the allergic among you: deal with it. I'm sorry, but your life is just going to have to be that little bit less exciting. Substitutes in this life suck anyway. At least you're not allergic to genuinely tasty things like profiteroles, or guavas, or red jelly.

-to the bird-flu-o-phobe: hmmmm... I admire your carefulness, and suspect your problem lies not in fact in the realm of recipes, but in the realm of your sense-of-self. Don't be so driven by other peoples opinions - sicks and stones etc.

-parents:chicken stock. That stuff totally does not taste like chicken though, it gives me the creeps. Makes me think of all these chickens having the juice and lifeblodd squeezed out of them, being ground to a pulp, dried in the sun, and then squished into tiny little yucky cubes. Better yet, read that to your child and then feed them 10 cubes of chicken stock, raw. Serves the little critter right.

-TLCCC members: EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW. gOand eat some chicken instead. I wouldn't know, but if boys and girls really do taste like chicken surely this will do the trick.

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